deucebasket:

I saw a bunch of ants carrying around a potato chip this morning and it made me wish I had a bunch of friends and a really huge potato chip

161,658 notes
filbri:

A Schizophrenic suicide.
People always make Juliet out to be dumb in Romeo and Juliet, but I think she at least had some sense where Romeo didn't have much of any
  • Romeo: I was thinking about this chick earlier who I said I was in love with but now I love that girl over there that is very likely to either belong to my family's enemy or be close with my family's enemy as it is their party I am crashing
  • Juliet: I do not like being so young and forced into a relationship with an older man, but oh there's a cute guy more my age over there. And since he's here he must have been invited and is there for a reasonable love match for myself
  • --
  • Romeo: We should kiss right now at this party
  • Juliet: No that is a super dumb idea
  • Romeo: *kisses her anyway*
  • Juliet: That was dumb of you
  • --
  • Romeo: We should get married right now
  • Juliet: We don't know each other. Shouldn't we wait until at least a little time has passed?
  • Romeo: Like tomorrow?
  • Juliet: Sure, fine.
  • --
  • Juliet: We're married now, so we have to try and make things better between our families.
  • Romeo: Right.
  • Romeo: It seems I have killed your cousin and am now exiled.
  • --
  • Juliet: Ok so since Romeo fucked up I'm gonna fix this shit by taking a harmless sleeping liquid. He'll come and get me and we can go away together.
  • Romeo: *immediately kills himself*
  • Juliet: For fucks sake.
31,044 notes
I hope you get everything you deserve. The sweetest or evilest thing you can say to someone. (via mainlyboredom) 7,846 notes
johnshavesfor-sherlock:

thebobblehat:

Those two are going to turn into some anime magical girl forms or something

They have one of each other’s eyes

princcess:

The moment of pure panic when accidentally activating Siri in a quiet place

79,996 notes